He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
