he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
