Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
