To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he fucked my hip out of place.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
