oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
