Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
