Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize