There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
