dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
