Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
