Do vagina's smell?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
