My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
