The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
