When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
