so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
