smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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