if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
