Screwed.edu
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
