I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
