Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize