i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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