So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
