we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I need a beard to bite.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
