nut hugger
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
