well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
