i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
