pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
