the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize