god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
