I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
