I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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