Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
