Well douche your snatch and let's go!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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