you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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