Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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