In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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