he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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