Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
