her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
