i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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