She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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