Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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