I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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