If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
