my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
