doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
