Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
