i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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