he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
