Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
