Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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