the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
