i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
