somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
