Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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