Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
