Having a random hookup so left but love u
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
