can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
