He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
