can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
