Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
